The Woods
by Jasmine Yuy-Merquise
Summary: The Gundam Wing boys go camping with thier new girlfriends and they are scared away by a mean bear!


The Woods 

Discliamers: None of the Gundam Wing characters belong to me (Heero, Duo, Zechs, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, Dorothy, Trieze, Relena) ...although the other "unknown" chracters are mine..they are me and my friends. 

Author's Note: Just to make it more intersting you can put your own names in! As you can see my names and my friends names are used as some of the gundam wing boys girlfriends! 

Wufei: What the hell are you doing, Duo?  
Duo: what does it look like I'm doing? I'm starting a fire!  
Wufei: but that's not your job, that's Heero's!  
Duo: Oh, screw Heero! He's too busy with that girl…what's her name…Hadeer or what the hell it is!  
Heero: Oh, really, duo! It's nice to know how you feel, but you forgot that you spent most of YOU TIME WITH HER!! (Pointing at Meghan)  
Zorana: Zechs, please, they'll hear us! Come on, stop it! Don't do it, Zechs, I'm warning you!  
Zechs: Come on, honey live a little!  
Zorana: But I'm wearing white!! Ahhhhhhh, YOU ARE SO DEAD!! Come back here!  
Zechs: It's only water, and now you look hot!!  
Quatre: Zorana, just so you know, the guys are staring at you and that you're not wearing any bra!  
Hadeer: What the hell do you think you're doing, staring at my friend like that, and you go back in you tent and wear a flipping bra, for the love of god, hurry!!  
Meghan: Shut up, duo! It's for your own good!  
Duo: Woman, get your hands off my eyes, I'm going blind!  
Meghan: Don't you have something to say, Monique, to your man…looking at Zorana's now exposed breasts! MONIQUE!  
Monique: Oh, what? Oh, Quatre stop looking, that goes the same for you Wufei!  
Quatre: I wasn't looking at all!  
Wufei: *Slurp* who can help it, look at Zechs, he's all over her!!  
Relena: Well I only found blueberry….. Ahhhh, what the heck is this?  
Zorana: Its all your brother's doing!!  
Hadeer: I was hoping you wouldn't come back, RELENA!! What an awful name!!  
Relena: Don't be silly, I had to come back, you need me!  
Hadeer: NEED you? I'm sorry to say this but no one wanted you here!! No offence, Zechs!  
Zechs: None taken!  
Zorana: By the way, did any one see Lindy and Trowa anywhere this mourning.  
Heero: All I remember of them is that they were taking a rest in the middle of the woods, when we were finding this place!  
Monique: Okay, when I finish this game, we can split and go look for them.  
Meghan: Drop the fucking gameboy, Monique! And start paying attention to things!  
Monique: ALLRIGHT, Mrs. Maxwell! (drops the gameboy on her bag)  
Heero: Okay, this is how it will be. Zechs and Zorana, you take this way. Meghan and Duo, take this way. Monique, Quatre and Wufei, that way. Dorothy and Relena, go this way. Hadeer and I will take this way, and we meet back her tonight, got it? (everyone nodded yes)  
Relena: But, every group has a guy, except me and Dorothy! What if a bear attacks us and eats us?  
Hadeer: *Whisper* Good riddance!  
Relena: Heero come with us, please!  
Heero: NO, I've had enough of you!  
Dorothy: Mr.Peacecraft?  
Zechs: I don't think so, besides I want to be alone with this one for a while!  
Relena: Come on! Please!  
Dorothy: It's okay, I know martial arts!  
Relena: Like that's going to help! (they leave)  
Hadeer: God, I wish she could be eaten by a bear, so I don't have to hear her annoying voice again!!  
Everyone: Hear, hear!!  
Relena: I heard that!  
(everyone took their way)  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Trowa: where do you think we are?  
Lindy: I have no idea, but all I can see is a really beautiful beach and a really sexy man!  
Trowa: A man? Where? We can ask him where we are!  
Lindy: Jeez Louise, I meant YOU, dummy! Boy, when you are slow!  
Trowa: Are you saying I'm slow? Look how fast I can be!  
Lindy: I meant up here, sheesh!  
Trowa: You really think I'm sexy?  
Lindy: DUHHHHHHHHH!  
Trowa: What does "Duh" mean?  
Lindy: It means you…I mean "Of course"!  
Trowa: Really?  
Lindy: Ya-huh.  
Trowa: want to go swimming?  
Lindy: Ooo-huh.  
Trowa: Naked?  
Lindy: Am I that transparent? How did you know that?  
Trowa: But I am so hungry!  
Lindy: AHHH! You sure know how to kill the mood!  
Trowa: I was just kidding!  
Lindy: Well than what are you waiting for?  
(Ran to the beach holding hands) 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Zechs: Baby, wait.  
Zorana: What is it now?  
Zechs: Just want to tell you how sexy you looked with that water on your body!  
Zorana: Really? I couldn't tell, you were drooling a bucket full, for no absolute reason!  
Zechs: Hey, I do that sometimes when I sleep!  
Zorana: Then remind me never to sleep beside you again!  
Zechs: That is what I love about you, trusting, funny and so beautiful!  
Zorana: Come here, you white-haired tall…man!  
Zechs: Yes, please!  
(They start smooching,) (A soft hiss was heard from above them)  
Zorana: Zechs, did you hear that?  
Zechs: hear what?  
Zorana: A hissing noise.  
Zechs: It's probably me hissing at you, lovely!  
Zorana: Zechs, slow down! What if one of them sees us?  
Zechs: Well, who cares? They know we're together! I bet Meghan and Duo are at it right now!  
Zorana: Ahhhhhhh, SNAKE!! Above you!  
Zechs: Calm down, Zorana! Come here, you son of a bitch!  
Zorana: Well, that wasn't politically correct!  
Zechs: Who gives two rats ass! Pass me that stake!  
Zorana: Here! Be careful!  
Zechs: Die, bastard, die!  
(Zechs gets the stake in the snake's mouth and kills it)  
Zorana: Damn, Zechs! I have a rush that want you so bad! You are soooooo brave, honey!  
(Zechs and Zorana do their "thing")  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Wufei: I am so cold!  
Quatre: For the love of god, be a man!  
Wufei: I am, unlike you!  
Quatre: Don't start with me, Wufei, at least I'm not that short!  
Wufei: SHORT? I'm SHORT! I am not short, Arabian Gaylord!  
Quatre: What the hell is that supposed to mean? I am not gay!  
Wufei: How would we know? Poor Monique, looking at you in the first! That's it! You hypnotized her and that's why she likes you!!  
Quatre: Jealous, are we, Wufei?  
(Wufei face went red)  
Wufei: NOOOOOO!  
Monique: Look, if you're going to keep this up, I'm leaving! Ow, now someone help me up!  
Quatre: Are you okay?  
Wufei: She probably took a good look at you!  
Quatre: Shut up and help me with her!!  
Wufei: Ugh! I can't do it! Yo, ever hear of "weight watchers"? It really works; my grandpa is as skinny as a stick!  
Quatre: Wufei, you're not helping!!  
Wufei: Well what do you want me to do? Pray for god to help us!  
Quatre: Even that would help!  
Wufei: Okay… (he knelt down on the floor beside Monique and started muttering Buddhism words)  
Quatre: You ARE NOT FUCKING HELPING, so cut the FUNNY ACT AND HELP ME TO TAKE HER BACK TO CAMP!!  
Monique: No, don't do that, I'm fine! I just need my gameboy!  
Quatre: All right, be right back!  
(Quatre ran to camp, which was about 2 cm away!!)  
Wufei: You really can't live with out your gameboy, can you?  
Monique: *Pant*Pant* No, I really can't!  
(She got up and walked about an inch)  
Monique: Ahhhh, help me, I'm sliding away!  
Wufei: MONIQUE, HOLD ON, I'M COMING!  
Quatre: what's going on, what happened….ahh!  
Wufei: I'll explain when we get there…wherever it is!  
Quatre: Please let go of my ankle, Wufei!  
Wufei: Fine, want to get lost? Not my problem!  
Quatre: Fine, keep holding on!  
(they bump into Monique)  
Wufei: Oof, could you please be a little gentler with my nuts, Quatre!  
Quatre: *Straining* What…about…mine?  
Wufei: You don't have any!  
Quatre: You Piece…  
Monique: There they are…and now we found more than we wanted to see, they're going at it right now!  
Quatre: Oh, dear god!  
Wufei: Go Trowa!! Yah!!  
Monique: WUFEI?  
Wufei: You should try it sometime, it's GOOD! But then again, you need a certain something to make it better, which your boyfriend lacks!  
Quatre: That's it…  
Monique: Shut up! LINDY, TROWA!!  


Lindy: Someone's watching us, someone just called my name!  
Trowa: I heard it, too…Oh shit, Wufei, Quatre and Monique are right there!!  
Lindy: Where are my clothes, dammit, the clothes!  
Trowa: What are worried about, you're not completely naked, you're still with underwear and bra, I'm completely naked!  
Lindy: Get off me, Trowa; our secret's been exposed!  
Trowa: Fine, pass me your shirt!  
Lindy: For?  
Trowa: Look at me! Do I need explaining?  
Lindy: No, but I never thought it would be like that! Here! Be right there!! Thank god you found us guys!!  
Monique: Yah, welcome, but you made us find more than we're supposed to find!  
Lindy: Sorry, what could you, when you're with someone so hot, you were less fortunate!  
Wufei: Hey, hey, what do you mean?  
Lindy: Nothing! HURRY UP TROWA!!  
Trowa: SHUT UP, LINDY!!  
Lindy: He he, lets start walking people!  
Quatre: Okay, but don't you want to wait for Trowa!  
Lindy: Do you want to hear him bragging on and on for what you just saw!  
Quatre: Maybe I do!  
Monique: WHAT?  
Quatre: Oh, nothing! (Whistles)  
Trowa: Okay, go!  
Quatre: *Whisper* so how was it?  
Trowa: What the hell is wrong with you? I never got even past phase 3!  
Quatre: Phase 3?  
Trowa: Yeah, unbuckling her bra!  
Quatre: Ooh! (Big smile on his face!)  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Hadeer: Heero, please stop playing with my hair, we have to find them! (Kissed her on the neck)  
Heero: Play along, we're alone and you're a guy and I'm a girl!  
Hadeer: WHAT? You're a girl? I'm a guy?  
Heero: No, that's not what I meant! I meant… who cares? But you're not a guy are you!  
Hadeer: Feel this, does this feel fake to you? (Boobs)  
Heero: No, but feels nice, now can I feel them bare?  
Hadeer: Heero, stay on topic, and that is Lindy and Trowa!  
Heero: Well, that's not fair! They probably did it!  
Hadeer: What is wrong with you guys? Always horny; always thinking of sex, sheesh!  
Heero: I can't help it!  
Hadeer: help it, because I'm not doing it! But then again, I want to do it too!  
(He stats undressing her)  
Hadeer: Heero?  
Heero: What?  
Hadeer: You stuck me too much on the tree; I feel its wrinkles!  
Heero: Sorry, come here!  
(a few minutes later, Hadeer looks up)  
Hadeer: Heero?  
Heero: What now? Hadeer: B..B..B…BEAR!! BIG, very BIG!!  
Heero: Is it behind me?  
Hadeer: Uh-huh!  
Heero: okay, stay calm! YAH!  
Hadeer: Did you kill it?   
Heero: Dunno, now get me out of here, it might wake up!  
Hadeer: Too late, now it's pissed!  
Heero: come on, Hadeer!  
Hadeer: I can't move! My brain says, "move it", but my legs ain't listening!  
Heero: Oh, for fucking sake! (He picked her up)  
Hadeer: hurry up, Heero, it's gaining on us!  
Heero: Well, if you weren't so heavy, I'd be zooming right now!  
Hadeer: Oh, god, I'm going to piss my pants!  
Heero: Please, DON'T!!  
Hadeer: Too late!  
Heero: Ohhhh, god, HADEER!!  
Hadeer: Oh, look, it's Quatre and the gang!  
Heero: Here, catch her!  
Wufei: Woman, you're wet from the bottom!  
Hadeer: Don't you think I know that?  
Heero: Get up and RUN!  
Everyone: AHHHHH!!  


(While they were running, they bumped into Zechs and Zorana, who were done!) 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Meghan: Damn it, hurry up!  
Duo: I haven't pissed since the morning!  
Meghan: That doesn't make you pee for an hour, cuz that's how long it has taken!  
Duo: Well, I wasn't only pissing!  
Meghan: I didn't want to know that!  
Duo: Hey, you asked for it! Besides, you're my girlfriend, you're supposed to undestand that!  
Meghan: Yah, but not this, this is not human!  
Duo: Thanks for the vote of confidence!  
Meghan: Welcome! Where do you think they are?  
Duo: Dunno, I'm busy right now!  
Meghan: Would you like me to help a bit?  
Duo: PLEASE!  
(Meghan walked up and flashed her "weapon",[she has big boobs])  
Meghan: Much better?  
Duo: *Drool* Yep, I think I'm done now!  
Meghan: Good, pick you your panda underwear and lets go!  
Duo: Coming!  
Meghan: TROWA! LINDY! (she's calling out)  
Duo: Jeez, you are so loud!  
Meghan: Hey, you want to find them or not!  
Duo: Yeah, but a little more quietly!  
Meghan: I don't think anyone else found them yet…until now! Look!!  
Duo: Holy Shit, RUN!!  
Meghan: God, please help, and don't let me be eaten by the weird looking human ball!!  
Duo: You're Praying? For God's sakes run like hell!  
Meghan: I'm already on it, whaaaa!!  
Duo: Oh, god, I can't run any faster! Hey, who's pulling my hair! Let go, let go, LET GO!  
Heero: I'm not dying alone!  
Duo: What do you mean alone, you have about 20 people around you and you're complaining about dying alone! OOF! Oh, Fuck!  
Hadeer: No, no no no no NOOOOOOOO! It's Relena and Dorothy, right ahead! AHHHH!  
Relena: What the heck is that?   
Dorothy: don't stick around to want to know!  
Relena: Oh, no, Heero's in trouble!  
Hadeer: No, He isn't, but you are if you touch him, bitch!  
Relena: Oh, Hadeer, we're all going to die, no need for profanity, bitch!  
Hadeer: *Scoff* you just swore!  
Relena: No I didn't, I said a bad word!  
Hadeer: Oh, when I get m..  
Everyone else except Hadeer and Relena: SHUT UP!  
Monique: Yes, I beat him, damn I'm good!!  
Dorothy: What the hell are you doing now? We're on the verge of death and you're playing a game!  
Monique: Yes, I made a vow to finish this game before I die, and now I can die happy!  
Meghan: DUMB ASS!!  
Quatre: One little question?  
Everyone: WHAT?  
Quatre: Is everyone here?  
Hadeer: Quatre, Shut UP!  
Quatre: Isn't that our camp? And ISN'T THAT OUR FIRE!!  
Heero: By, god, you're right and we're slowing down!  
(They stop)  
Duo: *Sniff*Sniff* Something's burning!  
Meghan: DUO, IT'S YOUR ASS!  
Duo: AHHHHHHH!!  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Quatre: And how Duo's ass burned, that was funny!  
(They all laughed and Duo crossed his arms!)  
Wufei: Look what I found, and champagne bottle! Let's play "I've never..."  
Meghan: Yay, okay!  
Duo: That is just a lame game, I always get made fun of!  
Wufei:We like to paly it, and making fun of you gives it the icing on top!  
Duo: See, the flippin' game hasn't started and he's already at it!!  
Dorothy: Let's start with Mr. Peacecraft.  
Zechs: okay, I've never had sex in a Gundam!  
(Heero, Hadeer, Duo and Meghan drank from the bottle!)   
Zorana: Okay, okay, now my turn. I've never played this game before!  
(Everyone except Zechs and Zorana, drank for the bottle!)  
Quatre: I don't know what to say…ooh, I got one! I've never been in bed with a man!  
(Every girl, except Relena and Dorothy, drank and drank a lot!)  
Wufei: I've never got my ass burned!  
(Duo was the only one who drank!)  
Hadeer: I've never loved anyone so much!  
(Everyone groaned, except Heero, who didn't drink but kissed her)  
Hadeer: Okay, okay…I've never used chocolate in bed!  
(Duo, Meghan, Zechs and Zorana drank!)  
Hadeer: Damn, I thought that no one would actually drink! Where did you actually use it?(Zorana Points) Tsk…Tsk!!  
Heero: I've never pointed a gun at Hadeer!  
(Everyone except Hadeer, drank, thinking it was meant as Heero pointing a gun at them!)  
Relena: I've never had sex with Heero!  
(Hadeer gobbled up a really big sip, everyone looked at Relena)  
Relena: What? I never did!  
Meghan: Dumb ass, she finished the bottle!  
Relena: Oh.  
Dorothy: There's only a little bit, and Duo has beer!!  
Duo: hey, leave my beer out of this, that's the only thing that keeps me sane around here!  
Dorothy: I've never kissed Zechs!  
(Zorana drank and then Hadeer pulled it out of her hand, and took a small sip!)  
Heero: What? When?  
Hadeer: *Hic* before *hic* I've seen *hic* you *hic*!   
Heero: All right, no more for you!  
Hadeer: No *hic* please!  
Meghan: Duo, give me that damn beer!  
Duo: No, No, NO!!  
Meghan: Give it to me! (she kissed him and he let go of it!)  
Relena: You sure know how to work a guy! I envy you!  
Duo: It's a curse, I tell you, a curse!!  
Meghan: I've never had sex with anyone other than Duo!  
(Everyone drank, except of course, Meghan, Relena and Dorothy!)  
Duo: I've never rode Gundam Wing Zero!  
(Heero, Hadeer, Quatre and Trowa drank)  
Hadeer: *Hic* *Hic* [BURPPPPP!!]  
Heero: can we stop this now?  
Lindy: It wasn't my turn yet! I've never had a day like today!  
(Everyone drank, except Zechs and Zorana)  
Trowa: I never got to finish!  
(Everyone just looked puzzled as Lindy drank! Later Hadeer and Heero realized it and drank as well!)  
Meghan: Your turn, Monique!  
Monique: Ohhh, I don't wan to! I'm busy!  
Meghan: Will you put that thing down!?  
Monique: Okay, fine…um, I've never had sexual fantasies today at all!!  
(Everyone drank, except Wufei!)  


Trieze: Yo, people, "Gundam Wing" is on! Hurry up!  
Hadeer: *hic* Coming *hic*!  
Heero: Come on, lean on me!  
(everyone ran back home, which was right beside their campsite!)   



End file.
